So you want to race? Why would you choose Ford LTD Crown Victoria Country Squire Wagon over Ford Mustang? Let’s check it out..

or

10. Rich Corinthian Leather! Nevermind, that was a Chrysler Cordoba. Sorry Ricardo.

9. You think the phrase “no replacement for displacement” refers to interior cargo volume.

8. One day, your wife is going to kick you out because of your car addiction, and you know you’ll need a place to stay.

7. You want people to avoid parking next to you for a change.

6. You think it best to emulate Clark Griswold as often as possible.

5. You love the look of wood trim, but worry about termites.

4. You’re no longer a teenage punk. You’re an adult smartass.

3. You enjoy making your own life difficult, especially if it can be done cheaply.

2. Many of your most significant life decisions have started with someone else uttering the words “I dare you..”

1. You want to speed while the car is on fire, with your hostages hanging out the back without attracting police attention.

I guess that settles it….