At some point, this seemed a good idea. That was a long time ago.

I found this wagon for sale on Craigslist in Muscatine, Iowa. Exactly what I was searching for, and why this car would have showed up in the results, I can’t recall. Certainly this wasn’t it. BUT as soon as I saw the photos. I just had to have it.

Image from original Craigslist Advertisement

The car was advertised as having come from an estate sale, and having only 94,000 miles. I know, right? Who could resist?

In any case, I called the number in the ad, and my buddy and fellow ne’er-do-well, (We’ll call him Matt), and I drove 300 miles to evaluate whether it was really what I had in mind-whatever that might have been.

The car was in great shape, the “Magic Gate” worked, the AC had been converted to R134 and blew ice-cold, the underside of the car was clean and rust free, and the interior could have been brand new. Upon being turned loose in the car on our own recognizance, we discovered it could do awesome parking lot burnouts.

However, something didn’t seem right. This may have been my sanity taking hold. We aired out the rubber smoke and returned it to its owner.

However, the trip wasn’t entirely wasted. We ate at what might be the last Diamond Dave’s franchise. So I can now speak from authority-if you should happen across one of these unicorns of fast-casual dining, don’t do it!

Much like the interior of the wagon, nothing has been changed since the mid ’80s, though portions of the menu have been redacted….Neither has the decor or the 8-track atmosphere music. The prices are the only thing that has been updated with the times, and I think the chips had originally been purchased for a Dukakis victory celebration…

Have you ever ridden 300 miles home with a bad gut ache that only poorly-prepared cheap Mexican food can deliver? Suffice to say this must have induced a psychotic episode. One week later, I made the trip again. Only this time, I didn’t eat at Diamond Dave’s, and I did load the wagon in my trailer and dragged it home.